Raising Children

One cause of war in the United States is the way children are raised. That is, we raise children to expect war, so that's what we get.

One example. When my children were younger (I've forgotten exactly how old) I came home from work and they were fighting. Probably some sibling rivalry, I really don't know, I didn't investigate. I sent both of them to their room to cool off. Of course, immediately there was a chorus from both sides, "she started it!" with the usual finger pointing.

It occurred to me that most parents, under this condition, would launch into an investigation, trying to determine who started it. As I said, I didn't care, I sent them both to their rooms, telling them not that I didn't want to investigate, but it made no difference. One of them started something. The other had the option of walking away. Therefore they were both equally responsible.

Had I insisted on investigating, what would I have taught them. The unmistakable lesson would have been that if someone offends you, then you have the right to retaliate. Isn't that exactly what is happening?

What I taught them is that they need to be aware of the motivations of the other party. After that, they were very aware of those instances when they were provoking something. For some reason, that was the only time I have come home and they were fighting, so that instance stays with me.

Look at the international situation. We see the same thing. For example, because of the attack in 2001, the United States thought they had the right to retaliate in whatever way they wanted. No one, or at least no one in power, asked how our actions had provoked such an attack. I wonder why?